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I really can not stand when people make up my mind for me. I do not care if it’s for my best interest or not just don’t make decisions for my life without even talking to me first. It’s me life. Not yours. If I make a mistake, let me! I don’t have all my “shit” together, just like everyone else and I’m beyond tired of being held on such a high expectation of success that everyone forgets, I’m human! I have feeling just like everyone else. However, it always seems okay for everyone to completely dismiss my voice completely and make sometimes extreme decisions with my life. If I feel like what I’m doing isn’t right, then I’LL put a end to it, not anyone else. If I truly can’t do something after giving it my all, it’s MY call to give it up, no one else’s. If you see or know I’m about to do something that may not be in my best interest, let Me go and let me fail! Like me learn first hand what that’s like. it’s not fair for my life experiences to be robbed from me because people “care” which just means I’m usually doing something I’m unaware of half the time that isn’t good for someone else so they make decisions for me. Like fuck I’m super frustrated because I feel targeted by a lot of people and even some of my so called “friends” and nobody truly understands how I feel. Not because I don’t open up but more so my Naked turns a lot of people off. I don’t mean like birthday suit but just being naked all around. Idk if I’ll be able to find a companion besides my best friend to even understand me fully. By naked I mean showing all your good, bad, ugly, evil, crazy, spiritual, etc. but we as people are raised to not show that or really discuss it with anyone and it sucks. A lot of people are very insensitive unattached to others that it’s really hard to find real genuine people out here. I know I’ll be fine since a huge part of my person is a survival instinct so no matter how damaged of a person I may be, I always know how to bounce back and adapt. But I am human I have my moments and everyone seems to forget I could use a hand sometimes. Nobody can stop me from succeeding or failing. These are both things I control and if you really have my best interest in mind, honestly the best thing you can do is say you support me in whatever I choose to do and just be there. Being there,available, is one of the major things that earn my trust, loyalty, and respect.

http://shanny-shanshan.tumblr.com/post/91882282449/ive-started-meditating-and-i-can-honestly-say

shanny-shanshan:

I’ve started meditating and I can honestly say it’s been great! Despite all the negative that been happening in my life, I’m a littler happier than I was. I’m finally about to fully tackle the stage of being a actual adult and I honestly couldn’t be more excited for the future. I’m excited to have…

shanny-shanshan:

I miss my best friend. I’m so lonely and just really kind of lost not being able to talk since we broke up…

I’m not doing this anymore. I’m not getting online to meet ppl anymore. I want to be able to have you already in my life rather than us having to mesh each other into one another lives. Being single for almost a month now has really showed me a lot about everything in and out of me. I know i don’t want to use sex as a way to mask my true feelings. I met someone I truely fell in love with. I agreed with him when he said we needed to figure ourselves out but it hurt because it’s away from him. I have a lot of improving to do before I see my self avaliable to him or anyone again. But I do miss him being even my friend! I kind of wish we just took it a lot slower so we knew each other fully and very well.